The past is in the past

When I turned 30 I was not in a good place in life. We had just moved from Chicago to Kansas City. I left my dream job, a beautiful condo in River North, and my best friends to start a new life in a new town. I remember Jon took me out to dinner at Bluestem, one of the best restaurants in Kansas City (and, it still is BTW) and all I was wishing was that my friends were going to jump through the door and yell surprise. It was a sad, yet brutal reality check. My life was about to change.

me at 30

Heading down the path of 30 was like walking into a dark tunnel. I had no clue what was ahead of me; jobs, career, home, friendships, and family. I was definitely at a crossroads in life, with so many unknown factors looming over my head. As someone who is a planner, and a control freak this is hard!

I had to part with my fun, exciting carefree 20 something self, and come to terms with “adulting”. Find a house, get a new job in my new town, and start thinking about kids. By the grace of God we were given two healthy and beautiful children. It was scary, amazing, fulfilling and challenging! But, with kids I also gave up my freedom and my body for the next 6 years. I also learned how important it is to take care of yourself. If you don’t give yourself some TLC than nobody wins. As moms we need to make time for ourselves whether it be with fitness, or a craft/hobby, or some guilty pleasure. If you are happy, everything else falls into place.

I made friends, and I lost friends in the last 10 years. As an adult losing friends is even harder. But, I know that everything happens for a reason and I learned from these experiences. I am so grateful for the small circle of trust I do have. Thank you to those of you; you know who you are. You are the strong, loving, happy, driven, funny and supportive women in my life.

In my career, success didn’t happen overnight. It takes a long time to build something from the ground up. I started blogging because I love to write and because I needed a creative outlet. I never did it for the business of blogging. I don’t play the game, like I think a lot of women in this industry do. I think if you are true to yourself and if things come organically, good things will follow. I have taken a lot of “interesting” jobs over the past decade, but that also led to amazing opportunities. You never know what can come of it! Take a risk, be nice, work for free sometimes (not all the time!), do something out of your comfort zone, stay the course, and don’t compare yourself to others. These are the things that have helped me along the way.

We started a business; which meant many risks were taken, arguments had, tears shed. We were tight on money, which always puts a stress on a marriage. Yet, all of these challenges made us stronger. We got better at communication, we were putting ourselves in one another shoes. We were getting better at everything together, as a team.

We sold our first home and lived in an apartment for a year which was stressful!Β  In that same year we opened a second Health House which was SUPER stressful. We moved twice in two years (add MORE stress) My husband was gone a lot, I was doing most of the parenting and day to day stuff on my own. I think I doubled my grey hairs and my wrinkles last year. I was ready for change to happen.

And here we are 10 years later. What a difference a decade can make! I feel like I finally got to the end of the tunnel and I am seeing the light. 40 is a sweet spot in life. I have been through some shit, and have I learned from it. Life isn’t a cake walk, but I take those experiences with me which have led me to be stronger, wiser, and better equipped for anything that gets thrown at me. I am more confident. I accept my flaws, work on my weaknesses and celebrate my strengths. I know what and who is most important to me. I am going to surround myself with positivity. Life is too short to have negative energy in your life. Nobody has time for that!

My kids and my family will always come first. It is so fun to be at this age where we enjoy hanging out with them, They have their moments, as all kids do. But at 9 & 5 they are easier to take places, travel with, etc. I have learned that everyday they need to be guided and parented to learn from their mistakes and to work on their behavior in one way or another. They also need to be celebrated and given praise. Being a parent is non-stop, my work with them is never done!

But with that being said, now that they aren’t babies I can focus a little more on myself. Here are some goals for the next 10 years…

My husband and I are going on 13 years of marriage. The best thing I have learned so far, is that you have to pick your battles, and also put yourself in their shoes. Sometimes I want to scream at him for something stupid (like always forgetting my kids stuff when he goes somewhere), and then I realize the day he has probably had. My goal in marriage for the next 10 years is to be more understanding and to also to surprise him more! It’s always good to catch your spouse off guard πŸ™‚

I really am trying to clean up my beauty, home and food as much as possible. I figure what could it hurt? I am doing this in baby steps, because overhauling is just too overwhelming. I did my skincare first. Next is home products, then on to the makeup. My diet is pretty good, but it could always be better.

I want to get better in the kitchen. I say this EVERY year, I swear. But it is a goal of mine! I want to cook healthy, all eat the same thing, and be able to sit down together a few nights a week as a family. It’s hard to do, but I will continue to work towards it.

I have never been to Europe (go ahead and gasp, I feel the same way) It is sad, but true. I dream of going, and I know it will happen when the time is right. Lets just hope its before I turn 50 πŸ™‚

Lastly, I have always wanted to write and publish a children’s book. I have a title and a few drafts in process. Who knows if this will ever happen, but it would be a dream come true and the best gift I could give my children (besides their life, obviously! ha!)

I think 40 holds great things, I am excited for all that is to come!

 

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5 comments

  1. You go girl!!! Admitting our flaws/mistakes and learning from them is no easy task. Thx for being so open and honest with yours.

  2. It is so true that our 30’s are often a time of unrest and being unsettled! Enjoy the 40’s!! Just turned 50 and still reaping the rewards of staying the course of family and marriage!

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