When I was younger, I had a longterm boyfriend who compared me to others constantly, and take jabs at me that made me feel inadequate. This led to many years of my teens and early twenties comparing myself to others. It’s a brutal cycle that leads nowhere except body shaming and terrible self image. When I got out of that relationship and met my husband I was not so happy on the inside.
My husband is the kindest, most genuine person you will ever meet. He makes you feel like a million bucks, and when he says something he means it. It took me a while to get used to him complimenting other women so often. But it is one of the things that I love most about him! For the first time in my life I had someone building me back up to a place where I felt good about myself again.
But, it isn’t easy when you are married to a fitness studio owner. Being surrounded by gorgeous, fit women all the time, I felt myself slipping back into the “I’m not good enough/fit enough/tiny enough” mindset. I often wondered, is this something all women deal with, or is it just me?
It took until probably this year, my 38th year of life to finally feel comfortable in my own skin. I am trying to embrace the good and the bad. I really try to not compare myself to others, because what is the point? I know that I can’t change what God gave me so I am going to work with what I have got…cellulite and all 🙂 I know that I will always have a larger bottom half, and a smaller upper half. Thanks Mom for the small arms! I will never have big boobs…well, maybe I could, but I don’t think that will ever happen. I used to hate my profile, but it is growing on me. I am not the fittest person in the room, but I always push myself. I may be a neat freak, controlling and sometimes flighty/and or a procrastinator. But, I am creative, loving, loyal, very goofy at times, and I love nothing more than a good laugh. When it comes to being a Mom, there is a lot of pressure, and comparisons on how you “parent” (maybe I will save all of that for a later post), but let’s leave it at this…I am doing my best. As I know all of you out there are too!
I am at a place where I do what I can to stay healthy (physically and mentally) and that’s good enough for me!
I want to be a good role model for my daughter. I know that she will go through this at some point in her life and I hope I can give her the tools she needs to get through it and come out on the other side a stronger, more confident young woman.
Happy Weekend everyone!